Based on a popular web-released manga series by Hidekazu Himaruya, this has been described as a "cynical gag" story set in Europe in the years between WW1 and WW2 (1918-1939), using exaggerated caricatures of the different nationalities as portrayed by a gaggle of bishōnen. For example, the Italia Veneziano character is into pasta and women. The Deutsche (German) bishi loves potatoes and sausages, and Nippon is an otaku boy. Installments of the manga have jumped back and forth in setting from the ancient times to modern-day geopolitics. The manga's title comes the Japanese words for "useless" (hetare) and Italy (Italia).
#__~~~Part 1: What the Hell is a “Hetalia” Anyway?~~~__ According to 15 seconds of rigorous online research, “Hetalia” is a portmanteau of Japanese words for “useless” and “Italy”. Aside from the fact that this joke is fucking hilarious, the Reddit-like nature of it should clue you in as to what this anime is like. Hetalia is a show in which countries of the Second World War (and some other periods of history) are given human form. We then witness them interacting like how regular people would. Think those countryball comics but worse because this had to be approved by actual studio executives. It is an anime to be enjoyed by two groups of people: armchair historians who believe that 40k upvotes on r/historymemes is equivalent to a PhD in history, and fans of light hearted slice of life with quirky, cute boys. Unfortunately, I read history books for fun, and I care not for (most) laid back buddy comedies, meaning that I do not fall into either camp. I have not enjoyed Hetalia. Hetalia is not a new phenomenon. It’s an anime which has run its course and one that people seldom talk about nowadays. Just pretend for a minute that it’s 2013 and this review is in any degree relevant. Anyway… ___ #__~~~Part 2: The Comedy~~~__ I don’t think it’s funny. Obviously comedy is subjective and all that, and if you find Hetalia funny the last thing I want is to take that away from you, I have just scarcely laughed at any of the jokes in this. Most of the humour in Hetalia is derived from national stereotypes. Germany is strict, Italy is incompetent, the USA is self-centered, France is gay and so on and so forth. There’s nothing inherently wrong with poking fun at one’s identity - I’m not such a fun-hating goblin that I can’t laugh at a funny joke about Croats or Catholics, but that’s the vast majority of what this show’s comedy is. Enter anthropomorphic country, anthropomorphic country says or does something wacky yet extremely characteristic, end scene. There were a few jokes I liked. The narrator describing the “Seven years itch war” as “Britain wanting to punch France in the balls” was actually funny. The episode in which the Americans try to lower their enemies’ morales is my personal favourite because of how bizarre it was (even if it does attempt to humanize Nazi Germany at the end). Belarus’ incestuous attitude towards Russia was… neat? img(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/878333835505442846/1122634897383759932/image.png) If the show had played up its extremely bizarre nature and did something with its premise that isn’t just “goofy men but they have the names of countries”, it could’ve actually been really funny. You can tell there was potential there, but most of it went to waste. But the absolute worst offender was a “joke” that Germany cracks very briefly. If my memory serves me right, Italy walks in and says “I brought you something you won’t like” to which Germany responds with “What is it? Another Jew?” This is FUNNY because it makes fun of the mass death event in which TWO THIRDS of European Jews PERISHED. THAT’S SO FUNNY! WHY AREN’T YOU LAUGHING? The nature of this joke coincidentally brings me onto my larger, more important point of why I dislike Hetalia. ___ #__~~~Part 3: Hetalia and Fascism~~~__ Hetalia isn’t just a show about WW2. It also focuses on the American revolutionary war, the Thirty years war, the Seven years war, etc. However, most of it is about WW2 which is what I will talk about now. Picture, if you will, what the anthropomorphic version of Hitler’s Germany would look like. If you ask me, it would be a large, violent creature with eyes that scream nothing but bloodlust. He would move in mechanical ways, carry terrifying weapons and would only exist to murder, pillage and destroy. What does Hetalia give us? img(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/820764119820926986/1122608125334261831/latest.png) An upright, honest, handsome individual. Not just any man, but the ideal blonde and blue-eyed “Aryan” superman. This is what Hetalia: Axis Powers will have you believe Nazi Germany should be portrayed as. While Nazi Germany is this superior being, America is accused of being “the asshole of the world”, and the only character accused of genocide is Russia. There is no condemnation of the Holocaust, instead, it is laughed about. Italy on the other hand, is a lovable goof. img(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/820764119820926986/1122611301064126575/latest.png) He is this quirky, jumpy ball of energy who is just so gosh darn cute and can cause absolutely no harm! No. He is not cute. His bastard ass gassed Ethiopian civilians. He ran concentration camps for suspected Croatian communists and their families, the interns of which could’ve been executed without trial at any time. It happened on a smaller scale and is not as known about, but Mussolini’s Italy attempted genocide just as much as Hitler’s Germany did. This goofball, while militarily incompetent, was a monster and should never be anthropomorphized as anything other than that. ___ #__~~~Part 4: Is Hetalia Fascist/Nazi Propaganda?~~~__ ~~~__Or Conclusion and Additional Thoughts__~~~ No. Sort of. Also yes. Again, sort of. Hetalia is not Triumph des Willens. It is not The Birth of a Nation. It is not a show that will explicitly tell your kids “Fascism is cool! Support it now!” It is above all a comedy about national stereotypes, and I don’t think the author intended it to be propaganda (the main character, a fascist, is shown to be incompetent throughout). However, it is a show that promotes the idea that the regimes of fascism and national socialism were in any way humane, friendly and redeemable, which is incorrect and dangerous. You could call this entire review a massive overreaction, and you would probably be right. I mean, I’m, as the kids today would say, “coping” over a decade old anime that many today simply don’t care about. A butthurt snowflake. A liberal beta cuck, if you will. And it’s true. I do think that Hetalia is horribly offensive. It was naive of you to think that I have a clever, witty thing with which to end this raving, seething review. Goodbye.